needless to say, it's really great to be back in portland. our days have been steady and filled with the life and energy that i have craved these last few monthes. we are mostly settled into our new place. it's nice living with a few other people, it's never lonely and we all love eachother so it seems to be working fantastically. been riding my bike all over and spending a little too much money on things i shouldn't be (namely LP's, wino and greenery) but i think it's alright. jane doe has been cranking a lot lately and today it's rainy outside. 2 things which i don't mind in the least...
i hear it's supposed to be 70 degrees outside today??!!! did you hear??!!??!!!!!!! i work at 12 boooohoo! shits been going crazy lately around here. but im sort of feeling better. been looking at it from a different perspective. trying desperately to hang in with this job for as long as i can possibly stand. means of transport has diminished leading me to think harder. been feeling sad since the beginning about missing summer in portland. studio for june july august would be fucking superb. barefeet, many friends returning for summertime, tattoos, good people everywhere, blank walls, salv, chuck, walking at night, sitting on the monument in the sun, RIDING BIKES!, grime central, nice get togethers always, trains, wine in the daytime, CHEAP wine, NO JOB, dirty dirty dirty feet and hair and limbs, swimming in the ocean, knotted hair, no schedule, no plans, no rush, walking up munjoy hill, secret spots and lots of time to create new things and meet new people and relax to the max.
i am a muddled mess of a million thoughts and feelings and ideas and worries and dreams every day. thinking about my "future" fucks me up and gets my mind rambling and investigating each enticing option. i hate that. "your future" "we're worried about your future" the future is now. i just live.
going up to portland after work tonight. don't have to work till tuesday fuck yeah!!!!!! tearrrrrin it up
my new sketchbook is slightly too wide and too tall to fit into the scanner which is somewhat irritating. so i went out on the deck and took pictures instead. it's 60 degrees out?????! some things from the last few days
